This is going to be a lot harder to write than I thought. Just typing his name got me choked up. And that's probably a good thing as maybe now I will be able to accept that he is gone and I can actually cry. I haven't done that yet and it's been 6 months since he disappeared from our lives but never from our hearts. Never.
So, here's what happened. I don't know. I sat down with my cup of coffee in front of my computer like usual on April 22. At some point I noticed there was no Joseph walking across my laptop, spilling my coffee and settling in next to my left leg. Hmmm, that's weird but not unheard of. Funny the things you take for granted.
After writing for a bit, I got up from my 'job' and got ready for the day. I went out on the bathroom deck and called for him. After a few high pitched Joseph calls, I scanned the usual routes he takes to come back to me, talking the whole way. Still, it didn't hit me that he wasn't coming back. And I can definitely say I held out hope for months. I just knew he would. I even had dreams about our reunion. I walked up and down our road, asking neighbors if they had seen him, posting on the lost pets place on Facebook, driving or walking around calling for him. I checked the roads and ditches nearby hoping not to see him. Nothing. Poof.
I promise not to write ad nauseam about what he meant to me. Anyone who has ever loved a pet knows the pain. What I will say is how I didn't realize how much of a muse he was. He was a calming and insightful presence in every one of the 101 stories I've written for my 2 books. Not gonna lie, writing just isn't the same without him. For months I've had to force myself just to edit. But, I'm slowly getting better, especially when I realized and accepted I won't be getting my new book out by Christmas like I had planned. Spring it is!!
I haven't given up total hope he will show up but I know that when it comes to writing, he's with me. I'm going to dedicate 'I Came In Here For A Reason' to him. It's only fitting.
Here's the last photo I took of Joseph Kitty. He's not happy with me for dressing him up as we posed for COVID hairdos and outfits. Silly boy. You'd think he'd be used to me after 9 years....