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Yoga Spaz

Updated: Mar 2

There is a disconnect between my brain and body with yoga. I've been stuck in the beginner class for decades. Actually, I put myself there for several reasons and I'll tell you why. Whether I'm in a class or streaming one, everyone looks graceful and at peace. Namaste. The only pose I appear graceful or at peace is the corpse pose. It's my favorite and it's also the only one I have truly mastered. Yay for me.

At home, I either watch or listen to the instructor move from one pose to another and I try my best to follow along. Within seconds, either my dogs or cats feel the need to help me by cleaning my face or walking on or under me. I've tried to close the door for privacy but one of my cats, Little Zoe, knows how to jump up on the handle and open the door. Their namaste is directly related to their proximity to me.

I haven't given up on yoga yet but I do take breaks for months. I don't know why. It's a nice workout with soothing music and slow, low impact movements. The problem is it puts me to sleep. Or I'll stay in some movements longer than I'm supposed to because they feel good. I could do the Cat Cow for days. My back really likes the stretch. It took me a while to embrace the Happy Baby. It sounds fun but my abs tend to protest after only seconds and then I become a Big Unhappy Baby. It's a good thing there is no one around to hear me cry like a baby.

Why do I keep going back to yoga? I like the names of the poses even if I don't do some of them very well. Who wouldn't want to be a Warrior? Just the name makes me feel powerful. I also want to be able to stand on one leg for more than a millisecond without tipping over. I think it's a worthy goal.

I also like the music. My daily yoga app has soothing music and while my body is screaming, my mind is at peace. The constant noise of everyday life just goes silent. And when I get to the end of session and perfecting the Corpse pose, I wake up to my own snoring. How namaste is that?!

Update to this piece. My 7-month-old granddaughter is better at yoga than I am. I've decided she is my new teacher. While babysitting, we were hanging out on the floor in her room and she did the 'dead bug' pose. With a box. Now I know what I was missing. A box. She made it look so easy. Then we took a nap. I like this kind of yoga.

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Around September I checked out a Yoga class at our Gym, The Auburn Racquet Club. I was a hot sweaty mess after the hour was up. I asked the Very Cute 30 something instructor if this was an advanced class? She said Yes, but I was very welcome to come anytime. Then she added, my Mom teaches a "Chair Yoga" class. So I started going to that. It's much more my speed. Balance and Flexibility are a problem for me. My big old beer belly restricts movement and then there's the Love handles. They are in the way...

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